Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I will be naked everywhere
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
