Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
