And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
