Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I am spending my child support on dildos
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
