maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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