the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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