apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
