you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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