You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
