I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
