why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
