Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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