i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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