Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
