i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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