the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
