why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
