literally had 100 drinks last night.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
