Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
