just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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