Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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