ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
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