Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
