ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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