But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
