I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
