She's JV to your varsity
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
