If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
please don't ironically join a cult
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
