No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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