She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
