I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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