I wanna bring you to show and tell
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
