She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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