Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
