ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
