Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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