My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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