What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Randomize
