im about as happy as oj after his trial
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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