i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
