it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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