hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
