Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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