a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
