So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
