Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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