No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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