so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
