I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
