that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
