Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
