i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
