Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
