I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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