I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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