so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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